


Someday

by IdrisTardis7878



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Angst, F/M, Pregnancy Scare, gentle cuddling, postwar trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 02:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16864711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IdrisTardis7878/pseuds/IdrisTardis7878
Summary: When Kensi reveals a startling bit of information to Deeks, will this be what she needs to do in order to fully heal from her time in Afghanistan, or will it tear the two of them apart?





	Someday

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written as prompt fulfillment for tumblr user secretxlittlexdarling on January 2, 2015.

“I did a pregnancy test.”

The words come out of the blue, breaking the comfortable, hushed stillness that had fallen over them as they watched the Clippers game curled together on Deeks’ couch. Her voice is somewhat muffled from where she’s leaning against his chest, and for a split-second he’s sure he misheard her. But then she’s straightening up, pulling away from him, and raking a hand through her hair. Sitting back, she catches his eyes with hers. “Deeks, did you hear me? I said I took a-”

“Yeah, Kens…uh, yeah,” he leans forward, grabbing the remote and muting the television before sitting back and looking over at her. “When?” he murmurs, and then kicks himself because seriously, is  _that_ all he can think to say?

But he’s a bit confused. They’ve only been together - truly, properly, fully, honestly, gloriously  _together_  - for a little more than six months. And they’ve been careful.  _Very_  careful. Unexpected pregnancies are game-changers for anyone - but they’re especially risky in their line of work.

She looks down at her hands, fiddling with the hem of her shirt as she replies. “Um…a little over a year ago,” she says softly. “Just after I got back from-”

“-from Afghanistan,” he finishes for her, the lightbulb finally clicking on for him. “You thought…the night we spent together before you left?” They’d been careful then too, but she must have thought it had been possible.

She nods quickly and wraps her arms around herself and he wants to reach out and pull her into him, but she still won’t look at him so he refrains. “I was there for a little more than three months, y'know? And I never had my cycle while I was there…not once…so as soon as I could when I got back I did one…and, I mean,  _obviously_  it was negative…turns out I’d just been so stressed and dehydrated while I was there, even before I was captured…and then after they took me was worse…and…” she’s rambling now, but she finally looks up at him. The tears welling up in her eyes barely have time to register before he’s leaning towards her and hauling her into his lap, cradling her to him and rubbing a comforting hand up and down her spine as she buries her head into his shoulder.

After awhile, her tears stop and she pulls back to face him again. He reaches up and tucks a few stray strands of her hair behind her ear as she rubs at her now red-rimmed eyes. “I’m so sorry, Kens. You shouldn’t have had to go through that alone…especially not on top of everything else that happened on that mission.” He thinks, for what feels like the millionth time, just how utterly fucked up that entire op had been and wonders if it will ever stop invading their lives with painful reminders like this.

He realizes that it probably won’t, and that thought causes his arms to tighten around her involuntarily. He only hopes that they can keep helping each other through whatever ghosts rear their ugly heads. He thinks of his own experiences from that time, the ones he has yet to share with her but knows he will tell her soon, and he  _has_  to believe that they can. The alternative is not something he wants to consider.

They sit quietly, wrapped around each other, for a few moments before it’s his turn to break the silence. “Why’d you tell me now?”

She shrugs, glancing up at him, her eyes still watery. “I don’t know. I just…this, us, is serious for me, Deeks, and-”

“Me too,” he interjects softly.

She smiles in response. “I know…and I just…you’ve joked about mutant ninja assassins before, but I just thought you ought to know…I mean if we ever seriously think someday about-”

This time he cuts her off with a kiss. It’s lingering, soothing, and full of emotion for them both. When they finally pull back, he traces the apple of her cheek with his thumb before smiling softly at her. “It’s okay, Kens. I understand.”

 

* * *

 

She stays curled into him for the rest of the game, falling asleep in his arms before it ends. He carries her to bed a short while later, slipping in behind her and curving his body around hers. Wrapping his arm around her waist and resting his palm over her stomach, he whispers into the darkness. “Someday, Kens. Someday.”


End file.
